FEATURE ARTICLE
Dealing with Negative
Colleagues
By Lolita Villa
Most of the time, you
don't get a chance to choose the people you work with.
Working in a corporate setting is a package deal, and
often, you just have to live with all the pros and cons,
including working with negative colleagues.
People in the workplace
come in all shapes and sizes, persuasions and dispositions.
It would be unrealistic to assume that you can get along
with people all the time. So how do you deal with negative
people? As long as you keep your own attitude in check,
there are ways to be proactive and keep the peace at the
office.
Understand
the other person. If someone's attitude is affecting
the work at hand or relationships with your clients or
customers, it is important that you don't ignore his attitude
as "none of your business." But before reacting
to his negativity, try to see the source of such behavior.
Factors can be any of the following: personal problems,
stress, job insecurity, loss of loyalty, stunted personal
growth and so on. It will help you respond in terms of
how you can help the situation instead of feeling resentful
at how the person is acting.
Just do your
job. Most of the time, people can be spiteful,
manipulative, insecure and overly competitive that it
throws you. You may be tempted to lash out or do something
drastic, but make sure you just continue to perform quality
work no matter what. Sometimes you are merely being harassed
into making a bungling fool of yourself for whatever selfish
agenda they have in mind. In some cases, negative behavior
stem from a person's true character. Don't take it personally,
and certainly, don't allow it to distract you from what
needs to be done.
Feed your self
esteem. You may be enduring a rabid boss, a vicious
manager or a bitchy co-worker. But if you don't counter
such aggression, all that negativity will take its toll
in the long run. Focus on the good things in your life
instead of dwelling on the badness in the office. Feed
your sense of self-worth by putting meaning in everything
you do, pampering yourself, or indulging in weekend activities
that will make use of your talents and will benefit others.
You can't take control of other people's attitudes, but
remember that you are always in charge of your own.
Be a role model.
You can't tell people how to treat you, but you can influence
them by the way you treat them. Don't empower a negative
person by reacting to his weaknesses. Be a role model
by treating everyone equally with respect. A co-worker
who keeps gossiping about you will eventually run out
of things to say if you don't give him a reason to gossip.
Be consistently transparent, work-conscious, and honest.
Don't be a victim, just try to win the negativists by
your good example.
Avoid making
accusations. If you do decide to talk to the
negativist about his attitude towards you, don't make
any hasty accusations that will only complicate things
further. Negative people are often reactive so you need
to choose your words carefully. People feel defensive
when they hear the word ''you," because they automatically
feel they are being judged. Instead of saying ''you misunderstood
me,'' say rather ''I might not have been clear.'' And
when you ask questions, do so with the intent to clarify,
not to judge.
Be straightforward.
Don't make underhanded retaliations by being sarcastic
or making fun of the person. A vengeful spirit will only
fuel the fire, so try to control that. If you have something
to say, be straightforward and firm without being spiteful.
When discussing differences, stick to the topic at hand.
Don't dig up past issues and pick at old wounds. This
attempt can only lead to confusion, impatience and resentment.
Attack the root of the present problem. Once it is resolved,
bury the hatchet and forget about it.
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